I used to have a lot of trouble controlling my sexual urges. I reached sexual maturity young and fast. At the tender age of four months, I began to explore my sexuality; it turns out that I am attracted to any living creature or inanimate object less than four inches from the ground. I suppose these days I consider myself a species- and object-inclusive pansexual rabbit.
Over the years, I found it difficult to interact with anyone or anything in a way that was not sexual. Over time, I learned that my friends did not enjoy being humped at a rate of over 400 beats per minute. For my physical and emotional health, and that of my friends and family, I eventually elected to have a hysterectomy. This has enabled me to deepen my friendships, and develop my new primary passion of eating---both food and my own feces.
I have never regretted my decision, but I do recall those youthful days of wild abandon with a great fondness. Today I’m celebrating my growth with one of my best friends, and together we’re appreciating the things I love most about my body: the length of my ears, the twitch of my nose, the floof of my tail. Although many things have changed, let’s be honest---I’m still sexy as hell.
